Should I Stay or Should I Go?

There were times when I start to doubt that I can live my life without you.
I shed a tear; even weep alone at night.
When I'm by your side, everything changes.
The gray clouds go away; the sun comes out to play.

All my life I waited for you to come around
Why is it we let go of things that we have found?

You can cast away my fears, even wipe away my tears
Sing a song I love to hear or whisper softly in my ear
That your heart belongs and beats for no else but me
One question still remains: "should I stay or should I go"?

It isn't easy for me to decide but I would no longer hide
These feelings for you I keep deep inside
So long to those who have been a part of my past
I left them for you 'cause I felt your love would last....

Longer until forever...
Should I stay or go.....?

Copied from Pia Sunga

Name: Carissa Vaflor Canillas
Single or Taken: taken

Happy about that: honestly, I'm confused about it right now

Eye color: black

Shoe size:In flats: 8.0 in heels:8.5

Height: 5'4

What are you wearing right now? jogging pants and maroon Survivor shirt

Where do you live: Muntinlupa, Alabang
Righty or lefty: right

Can you make a dollar in change right now: no
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FAVORITES

Kind of pants: clamdiggers and pedalpushers
Animal: dogs , koalas, bunnies and wombats

Drink: royal select, Welch's , Martinelli's

Month: February, month of hearts
Juice: Orange
Favorite cartoon character: Phineas and Ferb
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HAVE YOU EVER...

Given anyone a bath: yes

Bungee Jumped?: nope

Made yourself throw-up?: no

Skinny dipped?: plan to someday

Loved someone so much it made you cry?: of course!

Broken a bone: no

Played truth or dare: yes

Been in a physical fight: yes

Been on a plane: yes

Came close to dying: yeah

Been in a hot tub: no
Fallen asleep in school: of course!

Ran away: almost

Broken someone's heart: lotsa times and I'm known for it

Cried when someone died: yeah

Fell off your chair: no

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: who still does that?

Saved YM conversations: no

Used someone: huh?

Been cheated on: yeah!

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WHAT IS...

Beside you: pen, lamp, my cellphone, Samsung LCD TV

Last thing you consumed: Bicol Express w/ red rice and mixed vegetables in oyster sauce ----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever Had...

Chicken pox: yes

Sore Throat: yeah

Stitches: yeah. still have the scar.
Broken nose: no

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Do You...

Believe in love at first sight: yes

Long distance relationships: maybe. not right now, thank God!
Like school: yes, Culinary school in November!

Question yourself: no

Who was the last person that called you? Mum

Who makes you smile the most: My baby cousin Chelo

Who knows you the best: my mom, my grandma, cousins
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Do you like filling these out: only when i'm bored

Do you wear contacts/glasses? yes! my grade's high. L- 4.0, R-3.25

Do you get along with your family: yes

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Final Questions:

What did you do yesterday: Monday, i watched over my mum at the hospital

What car/truck do you wish to have: a Honda Jazz

Have a lava lamp: yeah

How many remote controls are in your house? 10 and they're all working! :D

Are you double jointed? no

When you last showered: this morning

Scary or Funny Movies: scary

Chocolate or Vanilla: none

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: rootbeer
Summer or winter: summer

Silver or Gold: gold

Diamond or pearl: pearls

Sprite or 7up: 7up
Coffee or tea: both

Phone or in person: phone

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Today did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked: no. I have yet to.

2. Buy something: Nova chips and Nestea calamansi iced tea
3. Get sick: I haven't been in a while.

8. Talked to an ex: No. Can't do so now.

9. Miss someone: yeah...
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Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed: me

11. Saw/heard you cry? relatives and the parents of my sister's vball teammates last Sunday at Asian Hospital
12. Made you cry: the thought of not seing my bf during my bday party. his mom didn't allow him to go.

13. Went to the movies with: family. I'm always with them when I go out.

16. Ever been in a fight with your pet: No.
18. Been to Mexico: no

20. Been to Europe: no
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Random.....

22. what book are you reading now: Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
24. Future KIDS names: chester antoine, jeremy mikhail, rielle corinne

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yes, I have no other place to put them in.

26. What's under your bed: slippers

27. Favorite sports to watch: UEFA, UAAP, women's volleyball

28. Favorite Locations: anywhere with friends and family

29. Tattoos or piercings: Piercings

30. What are you most scared of right now? that I'm running out of patience.... grrrr....!!!
31. Who do you really hate?: Not naman "hate". Hate is such a strong emotion. I dislike CQ, JJTC and a girl I call "japayuki".

32. Do you have a job?: nope

33.Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: who hasn't? I've always liked Dan Humphrey of GG and Nathan Scott of One Tree Hill.

36. Are you lonely right now?: yes, VERY!
38. Song that's stuck in your head right now?: Leavin' by Jesse McCartney
39. Have you ever played strip poker: the heck?! NO!

40. Have you ever got beaten up?: I do the beating up! :P

42. Have you ever been on radio/TV: i've been a commercial extra. I dunno if I'm in Youtube.
43. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? nope

44. Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you?: yeah and it always happens!

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Random...

what color is your underwear right now? black

Whats the first things you notice about the opposite/same sex?: clothes, body-built, eyes

Your Favorite Food?: Curently it's KFC Kung Pao Pasta Bowl and KFC Shrimp Surfers
Ever get so drunk you dont remember? i don't drink enough to get drunk! ;)

Are you too shy to ask someone out?: depends on the situation
Hugs or Kisses?: kisses

Dogs or cats?: dogs

Favorite Flower?: purple tulips and roses in every shade imaginable.

Have you ever fired a gun?: nah and I have no plans of doing so in the future.

How many pillows do you sleep with? 6 pillows! I love pillows.

Who are you missing right now?: Chelo, Mache, Anton, my bf Julius, APC friends
Do you think (any of) your ex(s) miss you? Nope. They better not! :)

My Mum Needs Your Prayers...

My mom needs your prayers. She's currently confined at Room 820 at the Asian Hospital at Filinvest Corporate City, Alabang. Yesterday, she suffered a mild heat stoke while we watched and cheered for my sister's team during their volleyball game against La Salle Lipa at the San Beda Alabang Sports Complex.

I'm including a picture of her. For those who don't know, my mum has always been a strong person and she has been a big influence to me and my siblings. I was there when she told she felt she was hyperventilating. I believe she can get through this...

In the pic: Me, Gelo, Bea, my mom Charmaine , and my dad Martin. This was taken last June at our Subic trip with Bea's volleyball team.

Life Goes On (The Ramblings and Rants Of A 20+ Amateur)

I'm turning 22 on Wednesday. Wednesday also marks my 14-month long relationship with my boyfriend, Julius. Recently, I've had a lot of things going on in my mind that try as I may to forget them, I just end up dreading them; thus resulting in worst-case scenarios. Let me see, when was the last time I was ever serious about my studies? To those who don't know yet, I've stopped schooling since March 2008. Before, I was so happy with my decision because I thought all along that it would be easy to shift courses and enroll for culinary arts class in a culinary academy nonetheless. Fast forward to the present and I'm still an unemployed, out-of-school college undergrad.

Turning 22 would mean taking on more challenges and responsibilities. I am a far-cry from 20+ pros who are successful in their chosen careers. Blame it all on laziness and deliberately slacking off. Someone here who knows of a job I can apply for? Something that only requires a HS diploma? Then again, what options do I have? My mom pointed out to me that it isn't too late for me to study again and that I'm not less of a person if Iwasn't able to obtain a degree by the age of 20.

If any of you have plans of telling me I wasted precious time, money, words and opportunity on a course I just gave up on, don't bother. I don't need your sympathy. What I need most is your encouragement and support. That's ALL I NEED.

Too Much Of A Virtue Can Harm You

As of now, I've already lost count of the number of times I was patient and understanding enough of situations which are beyond my control. For instance, my boyfriend is one of the busiest people I know. He's always on call; his office might as well be his second home. By the start of September, he'll be working on a very tedious project that would need all his time, focus, and attention.

It will be so selfish of me if I ask him to disregard his job and take it forgranted. I've already done that and it almost caused ourbreak-up. Honestly, I don't know how he was able to forgive me.
What's going to happen now is that we won't be seeing each other after I celebrate my 22nd birthday party and he gets to return Aussie to me. Instead, I'll get myself busy with applying in culinary arts school. When he's no longer busy then we can both start seeing each other again.

"I can't get by without you. I need you more each day. The way I feel about you; there's nothing much to say. I love you and I need you. There's no way I can get by without you."

I have an iPod!

I have a new iPod which I won last saturday while my mom and I were shopping for groceries at Shopwise Festival Mall Alabang. Right now, I'm online in YM and I'm chatting with May Ann Puebla. I told her about the org fair which starts today and ends on Friday. There are a lot of people whom I miss the most. Most esp. the interns ( Rexel, Jv, Ate May Ann, Jio, Wilfred, Nikko, Es, Julie Ann).

My friends who are officers of APJMA are currently fixing their booth now. APC Teatro hasn't done anything to fix their booth yet. In fact, I haven't seen any of the other officers since I entered the school building this morning. I wish we were more responsible like the officers of BMAG whom Ate May Ann should be proud of. She has to go back to work 'cause her boss is coming.  As for me, I have to go to the cafeteria and check on the status of our org's booth.

Subic Outing

April 22, 2006
In just a few minutes, we'll be leaving for Subic. While waiting for Bea, Mom and Dad to come here, we're listening to some tunes on the iPod. Since Tito Miles & family can't join us on our trip, Chino & Ate Chin will come with us instead. Double yippee! My bro Gelo's getting ready and packing his clothes. I've packed my clothes and essentials last night. He just gave me the Sony Cybershot digicam to keep in my handbag. I never travel with just one bag, you see.

April 22, 2006; 11:26 a.m.
We just had lunch at Razon's. We ate palabok, chicharon,cheeseburger, french fries, puto especial, Dad had dinuguan and fried egg. Gelo ate sisig, Mom had halo-halo. Back here at the Innova, Bea's playing games on her Samsung SGH-X640. There are lots of stalls sellin g watermelons here in Pampanga.

April 22,2006; 5:36 p.m.
Just woke up from a short nap here at 349 B Subic Greenhills Homes. My sister wanted me to play a game of cards with her. Race car driving legend Pocholo Ramirez came to visit us earlier to give Mom and Dad directions leading to the Subic Race Tracks. Much later, we'll go night-swimming at the Subic Yacht Club.

April 23,2006; 12:30p.m.
Just got back from swimming, seashell and coral collecting, and lunch at the Camayan Beach Resort here in Subic.